Saturday, 4 December 2010

someday you will read this, i know.

To a person named I.A.M,

When we first met, I was in a secondary school in Malacca. You're my junior at that time. Boarding school to be exact. You stepped into my D*** innocently. It made me wonder, who are you, the real you. Finally. Without my prior knowledge... you revealed yourself on 23rd of May 2007. Let me get this clear. You've changed me. A lot. A lot until I fall down on your knee, begged you not to leave me. I still remember how you treated me. How you back stabbed me. I'm not holding grudge. It is unforgettable memory. The past washed me away to be this strong in such a coward way. I was so cheerful and clever, but when it comes to you, everything get messed up. I've lost everything including my dignity. I'm so stupid when I said YES to you. I never thought it will be this painful. The happiness only temporary but the scars remain so deep till I can't watch your face. But my finger kept on messaging you to ask whether you are in a good condition or not. I'll always wary. To me, you're just a kid that is so weak to stand on h _ _ own. I miss us. Yes. Maybe I just miss the old us. But I know, we will never going to make up in any way. It is wrong to love and to be loved in this manner. We're not well grown to be in this relationship.

When we first met, we are **** mates. Always studied together till midnight. Always boost each other not to give up. Shared things up. You are the person that always gave me your shoulder to cry with. I can't find the mistakes where we can put a fight. But we always fight! I know jealousy. I know you can't stand it. And me too! But we always slow the fight, finally we gave up and hug. We cry after the fight. I still remember where to find you if you run away from the fight. I know where you hide. I always know. My instinct towards you I.A.M kept on fire burning. It will never fade away. It shines and glows everyday. I.A.M... I know where my heart for you to keep after all this gone. You just throw away my diary, just to satisfy yourself. You're the cruelest person I've ever love. Everyday is you. I'm sick. I'm sick because I'm stopping my heart to love you. You teared my heart and crushed it heartlessly. Who are you anyway???

When we second met, I thought you are my destiny to keep on walking. You said it's too slow to walk together. But when I started to run... you held my hand. You said not to run too far from you. I nodded and ran. I have to watch my back so that I can see you. To make sure that I can still connected to you. I made a promise that I will never break it. But you broke yours. I still confused. Why you can't kept your promise. You made it, and ruined it. I miss you.

Dear love, I'm a star. When we last met, there is no LOVESTARZ anymore. There is no you. Also there is no me. I know where to end. All the songs that we've created had gone. To stop thinking of you, it takes 3 years to forget. How long it takes, it doesn't matter. But the painful does matter. Now. I can barely say... I hate You. You just a piece of scrap that nobody will ever give attention. You heard me. Everyone hate you. Stop being so nice and innocent in front of people. Is is so irritating.

No perpetuity LOVE,
_ _ _ _ _!

No comments: