Sunday, 31 October 2010

nothing less , nothing more

time to spend: plus minus quality 5months

target: gunung ledang for 5 days starting from 19th of nov

by the way, demam tak kebah. is it fine?

kene makan ubat ke pergi treatment?

i think i am strong through out this last two weeks.

seems kene depend on that machine.

he can save my life.

and im tired, but i don't wanna sleep.

im afraid that i will close my eyes for a long long time.

it is possible.

im counting my days here.

but im glad that, every day, i will meet a new person,
that i can befriend with.

Ya Allah, panjangkan Umurku.

child voice, emma.

Arina dan Mata Bersinar

Nama, Maizatul Akmal Bt. Md Zain. Never thought kita boleh berkawan and I never think that we are going to be friend. Bithday 23rd of august 1990. same age as me. Kelantanese from kota bharu. Sebenarnya dia ni kawan bilik kepada rakan kelas aku, Nurul Aqilah Mahadi.Emma is her nick. Sebelum ni aku hanya jumpa dia dalam kelas Circuit analysis. She is quiet yet random. Yang aku tahu dalam kelas ni dia berkawan dengan sorang budak, iaitu bekas KMNS jugak. Nama kawan rapat emma ni, Pika Sulan. She is intovert and silent. I never heard any sound that comes out from her mouth. Aku rasa tercabar bila kawan aku tak banyak cakap dan sangat tak energetic. So, I was thinking that, I wanna be her friend. Eventhough, time kita mula kawan tuh dah nak final, it is okay, cause there is two weeks left to know her well. I can judge people.

the first day that I came into qie's room. She was so.... hmmm what to say... diam dan tak banyak cakap, it seems that dia nak avoid everybody. In fact, mase nak cakap dengan dia, mulut pun malas nak bukak. I tried to understand the way she communicate. I never regret in everything that I did. Aku teruskan ape yang aku buat. I keep on talking to her. Sepatah aku tanya sepatah dia jawab. This is not the way she treat me. Mase kat fakulti, we were on the same lift, and I asked her, do I know you, and she said NO. okay, we were on the same floor and in the same lecture room. NOW I KNOW THAT we are classmate. What a dumbass. I giggled.

I kept on asking qie about emma. To me, she is something to be treasured. Idk.this is the thing that I felt. The feeling that I felt at 4 am 31st oct. dah 2 minggu rasanya aku kenal dia. Macam2 perkara jadi. It is not bad nor good. It's simple. Happy. Aku tak paksa diri aku untuk berkawan dengan emma, tapi the way she attract me to know her better is the main point here. I never listen, I just watch and watch. I do believe in karma. If we were meant to be friend, I know God's job is to full-filled it.

I never thought that I will easily share part of my stories to her, as if we know each other very well. Comfortable,can I use this word? Sometimes I felt welcome. Eager to meet her at the first place. Masa dia on the phone, I actually tak berniat pun nak dengar, tapi dia cakap loghat kelantan, mana aku paham! Conclusion, kena makan budu. Hehe.. gurau.

She is taller than I am. I laughed. Her life... in front of her laptop, her room, boyfriend and scandal/s, DC, eat and sleep. Frankly, dia pandai. Cumaaaaaa, dia MALAS. Dia suka belajar masa tak ramai orang, or orang tengah tidur. She was easily distracted with it, I mean people. Her favourite color is red, banyak barang2 dia warna merah. And the pic that I uploaded also, red baju kurung, you see?

To be frankly twice, dia friendly. Full-hearted, enjoyable, great listener, miss know-secret,nice eyes, cool to be part of her friend, and banyak missed communication, miss understanding. Aku suka kawan dengan dia, and I hope the same respond suppose to be. Emma, im glad to know you at the first place, hehe...

final decision is where the final destination is.

Dear Heart,

I hope you are fine inside me. Its been a week you were unhealthy, maybe because of reckless diet that I have been doing lately. Or is it because of your exercise schedule that are too challenging for you to beat? I, I mean your owner is concern about you. Please tell me what you need. Because your beat, I mean our heartbeat is too fast... it happens when ;

1- one morning walk,down the street when I bumped into a guy who was totally hot and gorgeous pig, all of sudden my breath become so heavy as if I could die in a second. and YOU! Why are you so dumb ass... are you trying to kill me? When the guy passed us by... I was smacking my chest for several times to make you realized how fast did you beat.! Ohhh my god. This is so annoying. I don't know what is happening to you inside me. I have to remind you that we are sharing the lifetime. You heard me heart.!

2- one nice lunch, near to my office block... I don't know that the hot guy, should we put a name for this cutie pie? Okay I will call him Eric. This Eric guy was walking towards us. How many times do I have to advice you PLEASE BEAT AS USUAL, LIKE A NORMAL HEART. I was like a noob, tried to cover my shaky little heart so that he would not embarrassed me in front of Eric. I was so nervous when he approached me. DUB DAB DUB DAB... what is happening to you heart? Are you jealous because of Eric? Are you gay? He sat in front of me. We talked to each other about the 'bump' day. I choked my food because I was too excited with the unexpected gift from god.. wait up did I mention his real name. This is totally out of my mind, our mind... and his mind too maybe. I was laughing to death because his name is ERIC. For god sake. What a coincidence.

3- one late night after the Juliet Simms concert, to my Lamborghini kelisa car... I felt so uneasy. Is it because of the shouting or mossing? I hope not. We are doing fine here. But you heart... why are you giving me such a hard time? I was confused with you. There are crowd here and everywhere. All I can think is Eric. My silver lining dream. Hey.. In the crowd, I saw someone walked near me. The way he walked, I just noticed that it is Eric guy. He is so natural. So unpredictable. So mesmerizing. I can't barely moved, my legs got locked up. He smiled. My heart thumped.

I am trapped between my feeling and ego. My leg started to walk towards Eric. If this is Love, why it should be this way? I'm not expert in this kind of situation, I knew god knows that I can't handle this alone. Please give me strength. Love is life. All, everything that I understand, I understand only because I Love. This should be okay. I kept this in my head;

when we think of the one that we loved;

like a bolt from the blue...

all thing got messed up

and to settle it back

to find the missing puzzle,

all we have to do

is to love and to be loved.

I have to make an end. So that I wouldn't be confused with this feeling. And fighting with my own ego. When Eric started to talk, I stood in front of him. My ear, listen. My mouth, shut. All I can see was his face,calm.