Tuesday, 28 December 2010
You make yourself look disgusting women!
To you who I know for two years, it such a shame that you acting like a running nose kind of children. Shame on you! I should put myself way up high so that I won't see you anymore. To you who I always adore, you make me vomit when I think of you. From now on, you are an annoying anon that likes to make fake stories. So that everybody will pity for you. I could care-less about you who always think that you are 24/7 right. Beyond my wild imagination, you are a piece of thrash.
This is my weakness. Always made easy way for people to ask for apology. I'm the one who accept you to be a part of my story. I shall regret by now. What should I do to this kind of person like you? Can I tell everybody in this world that you are A S**t? god won't forgive me to this kind of blackmailing. Hehe...by the way, you can teach me how to hack people's facebook or YM!?
Shame on me because I had cried for you. Wasting my tears so that I'll looked more stupid in front of you! Wait a minute... is this kind of slander? I hope not because this women is way too much to be discovered. Am I bad? I think not because as far as I concern she is the one who ruin my life since I'm in form 5. yes,she did. And I'm the one who trapped in her fake lies that turn out to be I totally believed.
You with your biggest jealousy should fade away from my life and my best friend's life. You are more like a devil to both of us. Your mom shouldn't know who you are at the first place because she might get a heart attack to see you like this. Shame on you! How could you do this to us! Oh, maybe you wanna get more attention and you think it is not enough to be in the center of attention. I don't know what is your purposes. But we said, enough is enough.
So, our life continue as beautiful like we wish for without you. We remind ourself not to think about the past. It would bring heartache when we think about it. Go away! Go far away! We don't want to interfere. We don't want to see your face. Because your smile is fake. Please go away...
As time pass us by, you come into my life like nothing had happened. Aren't you ashamed of yourself because being so cheap? By making such a lies, you are going to repeat what you've done before. You should aware of what you are talking about. I'm not going to be foolish again. Your presence is remarkably annoying. I pretend to be as normal as I know that everybody had their own imperfection. Let me see... you are doing great with your sympathy to be sold cheaply. You are selling your own dignity, to a human called men. You have such a lowlife. I don't think you might be save by doing it.
We, the people who love you. Tried to change you, but you become from something to nothing. We are so shock with your changes. All of sudden, you become an anon to us. We don't know you anymore women! We don't know who are you! I dare to tell you, when you are mature enough don't try to ask us for apology because your sin is not for us to forgive but to god whom you've sin. My time are lesser than you think. I know that I might not live forever, I repent. I hope you do. Innamal aqmallu. Astaghfirullahal'azim.
Grown and Sexy
For about a week I haven't post anything stupid about myself. Frankly, I do love to do it. It makes me feel great about myself. My last post was about my self-assured and my biggest regret of life. Maybe out there,there are many people who had been through more complicated life than me. Each person in this world have their own faith and path. I have mine though. Many of my friend gave advises which built my self-confidence. Thanks buddy. Not to forget my beloved family for being with me when my life was ruin in a sec. Unfortunately, there are some anon (which is,i believe as not-so-close friend) tried to exploit my hope. Then again, here is Arina. Being so straight and miss doesn't-know-anything. Love to help her friends until she is way too far behind. I still have my own faith, Astaghfirullah. After the result is released, me.... Arina!!! OMG. I really can't believe what I saw back then. Disappointment, yeah! A very very veryyyyyyy baaaaadddd result. I felt that I am the most bad daughter in the whole world. Not only bad but also a killer. I have killed my parents hope. They always give high expectation. I am the one who took away those hopes. I'm sorry,i didn't mean to.
Allah still loves me. I do regret some of my wrong doing when I was in semester one. He really shows, me that sometimes when we forget about Him, He will shows us something beyond our imaginary. I really get down on my knees. My heart burst. For one whole day, I didn't felt that I'm touching the dirt. I deeply felt that I'm weak. I walked slowly reminded myself not to do something 'tact'. I really don't know what to do. Sure enough. I've lost my way because I got plans to be fulfilled. Can you feel what I feel? If yes, give me advice. If not, don't try to change what you've plan.
Everything in this world is not free. All the thing that we had, are borrow. When the time comes, we should give the thing that we've borrowed. You should believe me, believe what is karma. Dogma also. Hehe... I put a lot of effort to find my way out or to solve my studies problem. Allah will give me another chance to live. Suicidal is the crime that i did for myself. Tentatively, without a knife, I put myself to an end. Shamefully shameful to live because my besties, dahlia, aisyah, pooi sze, eti, and also tiwah. They are much better than me. I do felt far away from them in education. They are so great in everything, meanwhile me? Regardless of this, I put myself below where I can hide myself. Oh my... I got some severe illness.. self-confidence. Please... I really want to continue my degree. I know if I cry, it doesn't change a bit.
Please pray for my success. I really need it. I keep on promising. To my good friend, where are you when I need you? Are happy with what you have ? I really miss you. Can we meet each other someday? If you promise me, I'll wait because you know that I'll always be with you eventhough you are in Borneo. =)
Monday, 20 December 2010
post kali ni tulis ikut hati dan perasaan.
sebab memang dah takda mood dah. hati tawar.
so.. bila kita sentiasa rasa kita kat atas...
walaupun stadi tahap gaban.. tak semestinya kita rasa kita ni secure sangat
ingat boleh berjaya sampai dapat segulung ijazah.
now benda ni kena tempias kat muka aku. and aku sangat berduka cita
Allah maha adil... kalau Dia cakap nak, ok teruskan.
kalau cakap tak, so you've to stop.
segala penat lelah sem 1, aku dok bagai nak ghak pikir stadi...
now aku terpelanting kat belakang balik.
aku kena terima kenyataan kejuruteraan bukan milik aku..
now aku dah padamkan semangat.. aku nyalakan yg baru...
aku tahu ade peluang untuk aku tunjuk kat keluarga aku dan rakan2 yang
aku boleh buat.
aku bukan nya berseronok sangat pun kat uitm. tapi.. aku taktahu laaa..