Tuesday, 27 April 2010


77 jalan makmur 2

this is my address where it isn't completely finished. Apparently this house was under-construction and it is quite noisy here. I have bad feeling about having insomnia because of my eldest sister, Hani. She is disrupting my sleeping hours now. From 7 hours it turns to 5 hours. Those 5 hours sleep rate are not a constant sleep. Every half hours, I'll woke up and felt that a leg on my head or snored. It getting on my nerves. And my nerves are going to split into two without her prior knowledge. We will see about that sistah!

What would you do if u see many dust on your keyboard? Now im having a hard time because my house now full of dust. My lungs is not healthy as it is. Please finished my home ASAP. I need all the privacy that I dream of. Back to the story...

the house is 50 percent to be completed. Wiring to be done here. And the gate is going to be repaired sooner or later. My family and I will be happy. And lastly the Along's family going to be here after the house has finish the renovation. Irfan.. wait for us OK. I'll going to meet you. Grow up. Start crawling adik.

There are 5-7 Indonesian workers who involved in this renovation. Haha the most hilarious moment was.. “adik, huchan dhi luar... angkat bachu”. Im smiling when he said that to me.

Now, we have two home in this site. I guess. By the way, I miss my old guitar where I can play it freely without distraction from anyone. I do love to play him. I do wanna people to listen to what I strummed. But all this not going to happen in my home sweet home. NEVER. Consequently... I have to wait this moment about two months and a half. I have to sacrifice everything. Including my time to hang out with my friend. I'm a miserable teenagers who feels that life is so tough. But I've all grown up. I have said this magic words about three thousand times a day. Why? Why this always happen to me when my friend/s wanna hang out with me, there are alwaysssss NOT-GOING so called answer.

I tried to make my activities alive. I over-slept. I counted the dot on my skins. I looked around the house. I scratched my face. My pimples that annoy me, I watched tv. I made mistakes... yeah. I ate pills. Seldom. People/human/homo-sapient are not puuurrr-fect. I made ppl mad about me. I am obnoxious. Agree? I think I am that OB.

I thought this life is so so so so wonderful to live. Maybe my writing just to make me feel relax. To shout everything inside. To exothermic anything that is so hot inside. To purify the things that are muddy inside. To fasten anything that slows me up. To recover back whats hurting me inside. To make me look cool instead craziness that I always did. To melody my heart that are so lonely without chords. To make me feel better... the only thing I knew is to eat my heart out. UNTIL “OMG! I LOOKED FAT, TUMMY THERE TUMMY HERE, IMBALANCED EMOTIONAL ENCOUNTERED, UNCONTROLABLE EATING HEAVY FOOD LATE AT NIGHT.” called my friend, wrote at the status, sleeper. haha... im done.

U could've respect me because IM FAT. When im walking, I felt ppl looking at me and said “ekh ekh.. tengok tu, gemuknya budak tu, dah la jalan macam berudu, pastu dia kena buat makeover. Ekh.. kenapa dia makan sambil jalan. Eee.. tak sopannya. You, tengok tu you, budak ni macam parasite”. Haha..saje je nak make things worst than usual. Kita kita!.

Self-conscious ada. PIKIR LA SENDIRI. I ada otak. So suka I la nak cakap apa. Ni blog I. So? Ada masalah.? Leave me alone if you feel that im not compatible with your style. I am what I am. Sure enough you know yourself much better than I am. Just tell me, im talkative... I will try to listen and shut my mouth. Good. So now u know who is your daddy. Believe me. I will regret what I wrote. Haha.. semua ni just nak luahkan jep. Sebab... its been KACAU PEMIKIRAN AKU SAMPAI AKU NAIK GILA,AKU DOWN,TAK HAPPY,HIDUP ENTAH APE2 and much more. BILA RUMAH AKU NAK SIAP! KURANGKAN NYANYI BOLEH TAK ABG INDON. Tak kesian ke kat aku... aku penat la nak dengar semua bunyi2 ni.

p/s: im cold. Hot choc ada? Kawan ke kita ni? A text a day or a phone call a sec. The motive are... to make myself clear that we are not lost in contact and far far away from never land. Im dying. So im sorry. Scar healed. If u feel that I am disturbing yours... tell me. Sure it hurts but don't lie.


cik nurul said...

dah la jalan macam berudu >>>> bole komen detail?

arina ahmad said...

haha.. diam kau