i miss them.

all the fun we had together.

the guitar time.

btw.. this is irfan. my nephew

house-vation

77 jalan makmur 2

this is my address where it isn't completely finished. Apparently this house was under-construction and it is quite noisy here. I have bad feeling about having insomnia because of my eldest sister, Hani. She is disrupting my sleeping hours now. From 7 hours it turns to 5 hours. Those 5 hours sleep rate are not a constant sleep. Every half hours, I'll woke up and felt that a leg on my head or snored. It getting on my nerves. And my nerves are going to split into two without her prior knowledge. We will see about that sistah!

What would you do if u see many dust on your keyboard? Now im having a hard time because my house now full of dust. My lungs is not healthy as it is. Please finished my home ASAP. I need all the privacy that I dream of. Back to the story...

the house is 50 percent to be completed. Wiring to be done here. And the gate is going to be repaired sooner or later. My family and I will be happy. And lastly the Along's family going to be here after the house has finish the renovation. Irfan.. wait for us OK. I'll going to meet you. Grow up. Start crawling adik.

There are 5-7 Indonesian workers who involved in this renovation. Haha the most hilarious moment was.. “adik, huchan dhi luar... angkat bachu”. Im smiling when he said that to me.

Now, we have two home in this site. I guess. By the way, I miss my old guitar where I can play it freely without distraction from anyone. I do love to play him. I do wanna people to listen to what I strummed. But all this not going to happen in my home sweet home. NEVER. Consequently... I have to wait this moment about two months and a half. I have to sacrifice everything. Including my time to hang out with my friend. I'm a miserable teenagers who feels that life is so tough. But I've all grown up. I have said this magic words about three thousand times a day. Why? Why this always happen to me when my friend/s wanna hang out with me, there are alwaysssss NOT-GOING so called answer.

I tried to make my activities alive. I over-slept. I counted the dot on my skins. I looked around the house. I scratched my face. My pimples that annoy me, I watched tv. I made mistakes... yeah. I ate pills. Seldom. People/human/homo-sapient are not puuurrr-fect. I made ppl mad about me. I am obnoxious. Agree? I think I am that OB.

I thought this life is so so so so wonderful to live. Maybe my writing just to make me feel relax. To shout everything inside. To exothermic anything that is so hot inside. To purify the things that are muddy inside. To fasten anything that slows me up. To recover back whats hurting me inside. To make me look cool instead craziness that I always did. To melody my heart that are so lonely without chords. To make me feel better... the only thing I knew is to eat my heart out. UNTIL “OMG! I LOOKED FAT, TUMMY THERE TUMMY HERE, IMBALANCED EMOTIONAL ENCOUNTERED, UNCONTROLABLE EATING HEAVY FOOD LATE AT NIGHT.” called my friend, wrote at the status, sleeper. haha... im done.

U could've respect me because IM FAT. When im walking, I felt ppl looking at me and said “ekh ekh.. tengok tu, gemuknya budak tu, dah la jalan macam berudu, pastu dia kena buat makeover. Ekh.. kenapa dia makan sambil jalan. Eee.. tak sopannya. You, tengok tu you, budak ni macam parasite”. Haha..saje je nak make things worst than usual. Kita kita!.

Self-conscious ada. PIKIR LA SENDIRI. I ada otak. So suka I la nak cakap apa. Ni blog I. So? Ada masalah.? Leave me alone if you feel that im not compatible with your style. I am what I am. Sure enough you know yourself much better than I am. Just tell me, im talkative... I will try to listen and shut my mouth. Good. So now u know who is your daddy. Believe me. I will regret what I wrote. Haha.. semua ni just nak luahkan jep. Sebab... its been KACAU PEMIKIRAN AKU SAMPAI AKU NAIK GILA,AKU DOWN,TAK HAPPY,HIDUP ENTAH APE2 and much more. BILA RUMAH AKU NAK SIAP! KURANGKAN NYANYI BOLEH TAK ABG INDON. Tak kesian ke kat aku... aku penat la nak dengar semua bunyi2 ni.

p/s: im cold. Hot choc ada? Kawan ke kita ni? A text a day or a phone call a sec. The motive are... to make myself clear that we are not lost in contact and far far away from never land. Im dying. So im sorry. Scar healed. If u feel that I am disturbing yours... tell me. Sure it hurts but don't lie.

juliet simms.. the best voice ever.

oh irfan.. i wanna know u better baby.

Kg paya pulai, Temerloh, Pahang.

2 days and 1 night. Whoa sana whoa sini. Journey to the west. Hahaha... it was my first trip eventually after I finished my studies in college. Gila rindu kawan2. Dulu homesick sekarang collegesick. By the way... niat aku sebenarnya nak cerita pasal irfan. Anak buah pertama aku yang kacak lagi kenit. Muka macam along. Haha... missed him. Dia baby yang baik. Takda lah kuat merengek sangat. He's hot. Nak tahu... secara spesifiknya... kalau dia panas satu badan dia merahhh dan kelainannya... jadi gelap kulitnya. And after mandi... dia jadi putih balik. Aikh.. macam-macam budak ni. Hehe... gila rindu dia. Wee~~ =)

#Consequently... aku diganggu oleh seekor katak hijau. Sedang aku menaip... ade angah besar menghempaskan badan dia ke katil menyebabkan katil ni menghasilkan wavefront yang baru. ok. Teruskan cerita.

Aku ke sana ada niat. Nak pergi kenduri cukur jambul irfan. We got nothing to loose. Makan tengahari. Wondered around temerloh to search for a hotel to sleep in. the first hotel that we checked in was Jelai hotel. It seem that the hotel was so not in the list, cuz there are two or three hotel that we actually know the most. Walaupun hotel jelai ni nampak macam bangunan DBKL yang colourful... tapi cheap2 pun ade wifi and astro. Yang peliknya... aku bawak charger luncai... tapi tak bawak luncai. Ke pelik tuh. And aku bawak hp tapi lupa bawak charger hp. I'm sorry kepada kawan2 yang texted and called me arituh. Aku memang co-founder penyakit lupa yep.

ok. Aku dah tahu umah alin kat mana. She was my friend in college. Thanks kepada family aku yang alert dengan nama kg tuh. Hahah... well, aku jumpa pun masa nak on the way to center.

There was several activities held there, I mean kat rumah kakak ipar aku. But still, I enjoyed it. BarbeQ. That was a superb. Sebab ada daging kambing. Itu menu yang ditunggu2. Sebab sukar sikit nak dapat. Hehe... so telan aje lah mana yang mampu. Kegemukkan tuh tolak tepi sebab dah used to. In the end, I ended up with stomachache. Mana tak nyer macha... makan ikut suka. So suka perut ar nak sakit ke tanak. Hihi.

Hari ahad tu yang majlis tu start... irfan oh irfan. U gave me such a memory into memories. Im dying in my own pulse. I never knew I will fall into kids, cuz I dont like kids. Bukan nyer aku tak suka... aku malas layan. Tapi irfan lahir. I like! So now I like kids. I declare. Haha.. =) im smiling for irfan.

i do make ppl hate me.

please astray me. im no good friend. i'll try. but i cant. i hate arina. i cant help myself neither.

kat nad aku cakap camni; AKU SUKA BUAT ORANG BENCI AKU. SEBAB SELALUNYA ORANG TAK INGAT 110% BENDA BAIK KITA BUAT...................... AKU NAK ORANG BENCI.

kupendam sebuah duku @ duka?

Selamat tinggal kenangan. 14 april 2010.

KMNS. Dah letih aku kat sana. Nevertheless... tempat ni je dapat hang out ngan kawan. I have a few friends kat neighbourhood ni,which I called bestfriend. Tapi dorang dah jauh.3 days I cried. It is not because I felt unhappy, tapi the memory that made me cry. Almost every night kot. And the last time aku nangis after naik dari bilik Q. aku gilaaaaa rasa bersalah. Entah. Aku bukan kawan yg baik untuk semua. Dan aku bukan sempurna untuk jadi kawan sesiapa.

Lagu last ni dari frank sinatra – my way. Arghh.. sedih. Memang sedih. Kenapa aku ni miserable sangat. Im heartless? Not anymore. Aku gila rindu kat anati. Eventhough kitorang kawan kejap, but the time that we spend together really made us close. Dia mentor fizik aku. Yeay... nanti kita keluar yep anati. Kau pun nangis teruk kan? Aku tak dapat nangis sebab malam tuh aku dah nangis depan kau sambil buat maths exercise. Meleleh2 air mata aku. Kau boleh kata kenapa? Ahah.. kan kau dah nangis macam budak kencing malam.

Roomates... thx. Korang jap yang sedia terima aku balik. Entahlah. Banyak kot menda blaku kat kita. Iela nad dayah. And lastly me, arina. We've been through a lot. Aku sayang korang. Lagi2 iela. Aku kuat sakat dia dalam bilik. Thx bawak barang2 aku turun dari bilik. Tingkat 4 lak tuh. Nanti datang umah aku. Aku amek kau kat stesyen bas k. kau kan anak angkat family aku. Agaga.

To lecturers. Aku bukan nyer student yg baik sangat. Kerap ponteng kelas. Tapi aku bukan tidur. Tapi aku gi library. Jahat pun ada la jugak. Pernah try main mercun (tak pandai main pun) and main kejar2 ngan pak guard. Panjat2 bangunan. Panjat loji. Masuk asrama lelaki(masa pdt) haha... lawak2. Jngn risau. Aku still ade self-consious. I do have dignity. Itu je nak buat nampak kenangan tu diabadikan. Bonda, sorry kacau bonda pukul 2-3 pagi. Main gitar semua tuh. Jerit2. Main kejar2. Aku anak kau yg paling nakal kat asrama nih. Aku rasa aku tak penah kantoi ponteng kuliah. Aku ade team nak ponteng kuliah... tuh sebab best. Ohh.. forgot. Amor. Team memusnahkan diri sendiri. Kalau nak buat jahat kekadang ngan dia lah. Never been forgotton.

Xpdt-ian. Kita takkan berpecah. Selagi kita hidup. Kita karok k. skema2 aku pun boleh jerit macam iron maiden, placebo and serj tankian. Segala lepak2 kat cafe and stadi group time pdt and pst diharap halalkan. Korang ade yg tak kenal aku and kenal aku... kita facebook aja ok! Semoga Allah berkati kita semua. Xpdt batch kita berjaya sampai kita jumpa 5tahun akan datang. Btw... siapa2 yang kahwin awal tu. Buat invitation kat kitorang.

Pst. Hopefully we will meet again. Selagi aku hidup. Kita will keep in touch ok. Tapi tak macam dulu ar. Selalu jep aku rempuh masuk bilik korang. Buat2 macam bilik aku. Haha.. nakal nyer aku. Budak kelas F2P1. Sorry sebab tak meng'invloved”kan diri aku kat dalam aktiviti kelas. Alahai.. aku still ingat lagi pepatah fee kat aku. “aikh kak rina, hidup lagi rupanya.” wow! Aku suka ayat tuh. Yelah.. sebaik hidup lagi. Kang tadapt jumpa korang lagi. Terima lah pelukan dari akak yg nakal ni. Hugs.

Budak aras. Really missed the old us. Sorry sebab tak spend time together masa korang ada lagi kat kmns. Akak dapat satu pengajaran untuk diri sendiri. Akak tak dapat tumpukan perhatian kat belajar akak. Akak blame diri sendiri smpai korang pun akak lupa. Ups 1 akak punya result teruk, fizik akak dapat failed. Tak tahu mana salah masa ups 1 tuh. Then akak dah jarang cakap ngan korang start tuh akak dah jarang duduk bilik and spend time kat library. Akak banyak main2 dulu. Akak ingat setakat datang kuliah semua tuh... dapat ape yg akak nak. Tapi tak. And... masa pspm 1.. I mananged to cover back my cgpa. Sorry. Sorry. But the scar will always remain.
Parents and siblings. Sorry susahkan kamu semua since 1990. kakbi nak mintak ampun kat mak abah. Kakbi tahu kakbi banyak susahkan mak and abah. I've all grown up. I know good and bad side of me. Thanks cuz thought me bout LIFE. Along, angah, acik, abg and baby... please do understand me.

Frank sinatra- my way

and now...
the end is near
and so I face the final curtain.
My friends, i'll say it clear.
I'll state my case of which im certain.
I've live a life that's full
i've travelled each and every highway
and more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets? I have a few, but then again
to few to mention,
I did what I had to do
and saw it thru without exemption.
I planned each charted course
each careful step along the byway
and more, much more than this,
I did it my way.
Yes there were times, im sure u knew,
when I bit off more than I could chew,
but thru it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall
and did it my way...

i've loved,i've laughed and cried
i've had my fill- my share of losing
but now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing
to think I did all that
and may I say, not in a shy way
oh no. oh no. not me.
I did it my way

for what is a man?
What has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught
to say the things he trully feels
and not the words of one who kneels
the record shows, I took the blows
and did it my way
yes it was my way.

d,u,a,p.u..l.u.h.t,ah,u,n,

Happy birthday to nur arina ahmad bukhari!!!

HELLO, I'm 20.

1.Question:Who cares?

2.Question:Rasa tua?

3.Question:perlu sambut?

4.Question:Penting ke prank?

1.Answer:anybody. My close friends. My family.

2.Answer:tak kot. Tua tu hanya pada nama aja. Ehe.. im still not matured.

3.Answer:tak perlu. Aku hanya nak dorang tahu aja.

4.Answer:prank? Penting. Itulah dia kehidupan. Haha!!

start dari tengah hari lepas paper english 2, perasaan nak menangis tetibe hadir. Jumpa orang tu jumpa orang ni. Babe, i'm heartless. Hee~ tak kisah lagi apa yg berlaku.. ekh, aku panas baran ke? Aku rasa perangai buruk aku ni dah takda. Thanks dear, aku rasa aku masih panas baran. I'll try to fix it up.

Ohh.. aku turun tangga dan terus masuk bilik Q. dalam hati ni cakap... ade berapa hari je lagi aku nak hang out dengan dorang. Try to leave a moment to remember with them. Got caught on camera Sue. Such a shame here. Aku macam budak kecik la. Aku selesa dengan keadaan begitu. I will going to miss u guys.

Kenapa 6hb ni mesti time final exam, it is not fair. Anyway semuanya ada hikmah. There are a lot of thing I wanna do... especially with my family and friends. Kalau umur tak panjang, takda la aku nak jumpa kawan2 ni semua.

A moment to remember:

Qeena,

rupanya kau pandai tulis surat. Haha. I do love u too weyh. Thanks cuz being such a heartless caring emotionless friend. I do appreciate u. I really dont know how to express it. Tapi hehe... sorry sebab melampau kasarnya aku ni kat kau. ok. Aku parasite. Aku disaster. Ni je last thing yg boleh aku ingat pasal kau. Aku nak balas balik surat yg kau bg kat aku, thx cakap aku bongok.

Hye Dr. Qeena!

Thanks sebab wish birthday aku yeah qeeqeenya. Aku pun harap kau akan berjaya dalam hidup kau. Hang tough there babe. Well.. alang2 aku dah type, type terus aje lah (sebijik macam ape yg kau tulis kat aku sengal). Yeah.. aku tahu kita nak habis matrik,aku pun rasa macam kejap je kita kawan, tapi bagi aku kejap kau tuh lama bagi aku qeeqee. Macam baru semalam je kau cakap ngan aku masa malam kat kita nak ups tuh, kau lepak ngan aku dekat vending machine A5. 2Jam yang bermakna. I will remember it till I die. Macam baru je aku teman kau study sampai tertidur semua dulu tuh. Thanks qeeqee jadi kawan gaga. Aku lagi bukan kawan kau yg lagi sempurna, selalu kot sakit kan hati kau. Btw, we're fair and square. Lagipun kalau gaduh.. kau je yg nak menang. Tapi kat hati aku kau selalu loser yg paling sweet qeeqee. Salah yg aku buat kat kau lagi bnyak yg kau dah buat kat aku. Aku rasa macam aku tak layak kawan ngan kau.

Weh wolverine pendek yg bajet macam batman pakai seluar kotak2 berdiri depan pintu macam takda hala tuju.i'll never forget u. u're really a good friend of mine. Aku doakan kau berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Aku gila syg kau sengal, kau taktahu pun tu. Dan kau takkan pernah tahu. Aku jahat. Ntah la. Sorry. Walaupun sorry ni... akan still bg scar kat kau. I'll say sorry a million times... I regret.. I really regret the things that made us apart dulu. Thanks. Thanks jadi kawan aku. Kau sangat baik bagi aku sampai aku jadi jahat kat kau. It is not fair to u,me neither. I really am sorry qeeqee. Thanks bawak aku bsiar2 kat s2, jalan2 ngan aku, kita ice skate sama2,kita sukan sama2, kita makan sama2, kita buat vid sama2, kita tengok tv sama2, kita tidur sama2, kita gelak sama2, kita nangis sama2, kita blasah sama2, kita gembira sama2, kita kawad sama2, kita gaduh sama2, kita belajar sama2, kita solat sama2, kita kenal diri kita sama2. Ukhwah fillah ya Allah. Im crying here. Fullstop.

Perpetuity love,

arina

alin and wawani,

we are really made a good team here. Geng yang akan menjatuhkan qeeqee yang selalu grrr... im gonna miss u guys too. Aku kenal alin dulu dari wawani.tak sangka alin ni gila2, haha... masa jumpa dulu bukan main kau ekh. Sama je macam wawani... haha.. pemalu konon. Wek2~~ weh... thx kawan ngan aku. Kita selalu gak hang out sama2... makan, solat, baca quran, gelak, mencarut, kalahkan qeena, tarik2 seluar.. haha.. i really appreciate u all.

Aku doakan korang berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Cari ilmu kat dunia dan seimbangkan ilmu akhirat juga. Korang ajar aku macam mana nak prank orang. Gila rindu korang nanti. Sorry. Im crying again. Fullstop.

Text messages:

1. time: 11.55pm

salam... hepi burfday 2 u,dear.. may allah bless u. try ur best 4 ur final exam.. chaiyok. From: shida

2. time: 12.41am

muahmuahh..hepy bezday! Semoga arina hebat pnjg umur n dimurahkan rezeki. I v u. arina jaga diri leklok ek..jangan tensen2. Good luck in wtv u do. From: nor azila alias.

3. time: 12.16am

epy bezday arina.! From: anati ajeerah

4: time: 12.21am

ko dah tue! Haha! Btw,happy birthday! =) from: fathin

5: time: 12.21am

weh bongok bday girl,aku naik semata mata nak jumpa kau. Sampai hati kau tak naik! From: nadira aqilah bajuri

6: time: 12.42am

k.arina!!! happy bday.. may god bless u always. From: raihanna husna

7. time: 12.51am

happy birthday. God bless u. from: qeena azmi

8. time: 1.27am

ai kak rina. Today is ur birthday rite? Happy birthday ya? May god bless u. mish u a lot. Gud luck for ur exam ok?chaiyok! From: iera azmi jr

9. time: 1.37am

salam. Hohoi!slmt ari jd.ko ingat aku dah lupe ke?mstilah x.haha..muge pnjg umo mura rezeki n jumpa jodo yg baek.. wah rindu gle kt ko. From: najwa hanim

10. time: 1.55am

happy bird-day arina. Azwa loves you. =) from: azwa

11. time: 3.41am

happy birthday arina~ alhamdulillah kite diberi kesempatan utk masih menikmati hidup ^_^ from: amira azam

12: time: 5.36am

kak rina!happy birthday!may allah bless u sis..semoga jadi anak yg solehah..semoga akak dapat mencapai cita2 akakjgn hampakan harapan mak ayah akak. Walau pe pun yg terjadi kat akak,ingat Allah sentiasa dengan kita. Pape pun goodluck untuk final exam ni. Ika sentiasa doakan kejayaan akak! Syg akak! Have a nice 20^th! From: izzah atikah

13. time: 7.46am

selamat ulang tahun.semoga allah berkati hidup anakanda n cemerlang dalam exam amin amin amin. Duit dah bankin from: mak (jamilah ahmad)

14. time: 7.52am

oit. Hepi burstday hahahah =p semoaga dapat jawab soalan exam,bjaya bukan duniawi saja tapi kerja2kanlah bekalan akhirat jugak. Renung2kan dan selamat beramal. From: angah (nurul hidayah)

15. time: 1.49pm

heppy birthday sis...wish u luck from: ikhsan roslan (bff)

16. time: 2.14pm

arina..hepy birthday. May god bless u always.. unnie saranghae (^,^) from: wawa A2.2.9

17. time: received (3.32pm) sent (8.33am)

happy birthday! (mms) from: najwa kamal

18. time: 10.36pm

happy birthday! From: abah (ahmad bukhari)