Thursday, 5 November 2009

sorry babe. I'm weak.

A cup of tears for a friend.

I promise u...

I'm always there...

When you're heart filled with sorrow and despair...

I'll carry u...

When u need a friend...

You'll find my footprints in the sand.

Asking about them. Did I promise something and I forget to fulfill it. Looking back to the past; we had to turn back. Just to remind and heal the pain that we've made. So, I did promise my friends. Common mistakes always occur among us towards perfection of friendship.

Hmm..i felt that I am too concern about my friends rather than family itself. FYI, I didn't see what are the advantages of being with family. 'As if' I strongly said that I had enough with it. I spend my time, almost 24/7 with my FRIENDS in hostel. Like, if I live in the house I mean HOME... there was nothing. Its not a home... I just can't say it. I am too sad and pathetic with my life. I need someone to give me hope so I will stand up on my own feet with a little bit of attention from the one whom I loved the most.

I'm not asking for your sympathy. It just attention what I need right now. Because emptiness surround me. I can't think wisely enough. There is no way for me to see the light, supposedly, to walk through it. I can't cry. I can't give my tears that easily. I'm an egoistic. Just lend me your heart, so I can feel the warmness of yours. Give me a piece of calmness. I am restless. My joyful life come and go whenever they want. I hate to be myself because I'm weak. I'm weak to speak. I'm weak to become myself. The person that everybody thought was cool, superb, energetic, talkative, determined, strong, happy... fade away out of nowhere. I'm glad if I had a friend that always give me good advises. Let it be her not him.

Dear Allah,

I'm lost in my own imagination. I can barely find my way out in my own destination. Please guide me to let myself clear about my path. If they destined to be bad... turn it to be good and smooth.

Dear Allah,

Hear me. I know you'll be with me. When I'm sad and sorrow. When I feel glad and joy. Through this life that are full of expectation, I'm struggling with the person that is me. Too scared to be true. Too thin to be tough. Too fragile to be solid. I even don't recognize myself once. Give me some dignity, the unrealistic obstacle that I have to remove it from this black small heart. Within this heart, there is a rainbow after the rain falls. I believe, some day... that day will arrive.

Dear Allah,

regarding this feelings. I know I'm not gratitude with all thing that you've given. Everyday I'll count my blessings. I'll practice to gratitude and NEVER EVER MOAN or COMPLAIN about where I currently are.

May Allah bless me. (^_^)'

=how in the world I can eliminate self-doubt in me=


amormckenzie said...

sorry babe, so not agree with you.

friends come and go,
but family will be there, always.
u can find another friend,
but u can't find another mom.

and by that to me,
friends, lover is nothing
compared to family
cuz they mean every single thing

walau gimana jelek,
walau gimana annoying,
mereka tetap yang pertama

remember that

arina ahmad said...

that i just dont have a clue.. i dont how to throw away those bad feelings towards my family.

but now...
emotional are stronger than me.
fake isnt enough to make me smile sincerely.

i know what u're trying to say.
btw, i hate myself for a moment