so here it is:
"cancer" is a word like "rape". It's irretrievably tainted, and I dreaded becoming untouchable in Unknown (a place she stuck somewhere in USA). I knew how people changed towards you. You even change towards yourself"
"Being told you have cancer alters everything. I used to think my body and I were partners, together against the world. We acted in sync. We were a team. With that word, our relationship broke. Who was this stranger, full of cells out to destroy me? We became two separate things, me and my body. I'd catch myself staring at an alien-looking hand, thinking, whom do you belong to? I distrusted my body. I could discipline it, and make it run, but I always worried what it was doing behind my back".
P/s: actually you can change cancer anything that you hate the most. and I, fighting against my inner-self .